And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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