How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i will never coherently bang her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
