they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
