You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize