btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
