Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
