she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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