i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
