dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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