her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think people are normalizing furries
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
