God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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