I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
