Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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