Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
