last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had sex on a roof
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
