I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
