If that was your dad, he is hot
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're like the curious george of whores
you had me at cake vodka
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
