so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
