There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
