I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Come back. Shots need mouths.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
