my shit smells like andre
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
