NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
