He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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