i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
