She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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