Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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