someone get that fucking seahorse.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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