I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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