just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
