Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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