walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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