I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize