He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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