i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't think brook has ever known best
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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