I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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