And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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