i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
