If that was your dad, he is hot
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
