You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
