I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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