I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize