he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
