pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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