Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
