She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is Oprah even human
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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