Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
