haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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