that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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