I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
