i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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