after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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