I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
