I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
