can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
