It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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