this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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