dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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