Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this boner is exhausting
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
