I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
