Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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