Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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