She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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